The Myth of Having It All Together: Embracing Your Humanity and Letting Go of Perfection
- Joset Rosado
- Sep 22
- 5 min read
The Pressure to Be Perfect
You wake up early, get the kids ready, and head to work. By midday, you’re juggling deadlines and trying to remember if you thawed dinner. By the evening, you’re tidying up, helping with homework, and scrolling Instagram, where it feels like everyone else is managing their lives effortlessly.
You tell yourself, “I should be able to handle this,” or, “If I just tried harder, I’d finally get it right.”
But the truth is, the pressure to “have it all together” is a myth—and it’s exhausting. No one has it all together all the time, and perfection isn’t the key to success or happiness. Let’s talk about why perfectionism shows up, how it holds you back, and what it looks like to embrace your humanity instead.
Why We Feel the Need to Be Perfect
Lucia, 36, described herself as someone who always tried to be “the best.” Whether it was her career, parenting, or maintaining a spotless home, she felt like anything less than perfect wasn’t enough.
“I thought I was setting high standards for myself,” Lucia shared. “But really, I was just afraid of failing—or of what people would think if I didn’t measure up.”
Common Reasons Perfectionism Takes Hold:
Cultural Expectations: You’ve been taught that being a good woman means excelling at everything—family, work, relationships, and more.
Comparison Culture: Social media shows you everyone else’s highlight reel, making your behind-the-scenes struggles feel inadequate.
Fear of Judgment: You worry that if you let the cracks show, others will think less of you.
These pressures create a cycle of perfectionism that’s impossible to sustain—and often leads to burnout, guilt, and self-doubt.
The Cost of Perfectionism
Maria, 42, described perfectionism as a constant race she couldn’t win. “No matter how much I did, it never felt like enough,” she said. “I was exhausted, frustrated, and never able to enjoy the life I was working so hard to create.”
Perfectionism isn’t just emotionally draining—it has real consequences for your well-being:
Burnout. The constant drive to do more leaves little room for rest or joy.
Strained Relationships. Perfectionism can create distance between you and others as you focus on appearances rather than connection.
Loss of Self-Worth. You tie your value to your achievements, making it hard to feel good about yourself when things don’t go perfectly.
How to Let Go of Perfectionism
Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean giving up on your goals or standards. It means embracing your humanity and allowing yourself to show up as you are—flaws and all.
Step 1: Redefine Success
The first step to letting go of perfectionism is shifting your focus from being perfect to being aligned with your values.
Reflection Questions:
What does success mean to me in this season of my life?
Are my current goals aligned with my values, or are they based on external expectations?
What’s one area where I can let go of “perfect” and embrace “good enough”?
Example:
Old Success Metric: A spotless home, perfect meals, and a full social calendar.
New Success Metric: A home that feels comfortable, meals that nourish, and time spent meaningfully.
Affirmation:
“Success isn’t about being perfect—it’s about living in alignment with what matters most to me.”
Step 2: Challenge Your Inner Critic
Perfectionism often stems from a harsh inner voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Learning to reframe that voice is key to embracing your humanity.
Exercise: Reframe Your Self-TalkWrite down three critical thoughts you’ve had recently and reframe them with self-compassion.
Example:
Critical Thought: “I’m such a failure for forgetting that appointment.”
Reframe: “I’m human, and forgetting things happens. I’ll reschedule and move forward.”
Affirmation:
“I am enough, even when I make mistakes.”
Step 3: Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Instead of focusing on what you haven’t done, celebrate the small steps you’ve taken.
Ideas for Celebrating Progress:
Write down one thing you’re proud of at the end of each day.
Share a win (big or small) with a trusted friend.
Take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come.
Action Step:This week, choose one small accomplishment to celebrate and acknowledge it fully.
Step 4: Embrace Rest and Joy
Perfectionism often leaves little room for the things that make life meaningful. Giving yourself permission to rest and enjoy the present can help you reconnect with what truly matters.
Examples of Rest and Joy:
Taking a nap without guilt.
Spending time on a hobby you love.
Saying no to an obligation that doesn’t align with your priorities.
Exercise:Create a “Joy List” of five small things that bring you happiness. Commit to doing one of them this week.
How Lucia Found Freedom in Imperfection
For years, Lucia thought that holding herself to impossibly high standards was the key to success. But through therapy, she realized that chasing perfection wasn’t making her happy—it was holding her back.
With support, Lucia learned how to:
Set boundaries that protected her energy.
Reframe her inner dialogue to focus on progress instead of perfection.
Celebrate small wins and let go of guilt when things didn’t go as planned.
Today, Lucia describes herself as more present and fulfilled—not because she’s doing more, but because she’s finally allowing herself to be enough.
How Therapy Can Help You Let Go of Perfectionism
If perfectionism has been weighing you down, therapy can help you:
Unpack where your perfectionist tendencies come from.
Build tools to challenge your inner critic and embrace self-compassion.
Create a life that feels balanced, fulfilling, and aligned with your values.
Take the First Step: Download my free guide, “Letting Go of Perfect: A Workbook for Embracing Your Humanity,” to start making small but meaningful changes today.
What Happens in a Free Consultation?
Not sure if therapy is right for you? A free 20-minute consultation is a no-pressure way to explore your options.
Here’s what happens:
We talk about what’s feeling hardest for you right now.
We explore what you want your life to feel like.
We create a tentative plan for moving forward.
If we’re a good fit, we’ll move forward together. If not, I’ll help you find someone who is—because you deserve support that fits.
You Deserve to Be Enough
Letting go of perfectionism is about embracing the beautifully imperfect person you already are. You don’t have to have it all together to be worthy of love, joy, and fulfillment.
Download Your Free Guide: “Letting Go of Perfect: A Workbook for Embracing Your Humanity.”
Schedule Your Free Consultation: Let’s talk about how I can help you let go of the pressure to be perfect and start living in alignment with your true self.
Comments