Why Taking Care of Yourself Isn’t Selfish: Reframing Self-Care for Women Who Do It All
- Joset Rosado
- Oct 6
- 4 min read
You Take Care of Everyone Else—But What About You?
If you’re reading this, I already know something about you: you’re the one everyone depends on. When things get tough, you’re the one who steps up. You’re the problem-solver, the shoulder to lean on, the glue that holds everything together.
But let me ask you something: Who’s taking care of you?
If that question makes you pause, you’re not alone. So many women—especially those who’ve spent years juggling family, work, and community—find it hard to make themselves a priority. Maybe you’ve been told it’s selfish. Maybe you feel like there’s no time. Or maybe you’ve been so busy caring for others that you’ve forgotten what it feels like to care for yourself.
Let’s talk about why self-care isn’t selfish, why it matters, and how to make space for yourself without letting go of the people and values that matter most to you.
Why Self-Care Feels Impossible for Women Who Do It All
Claudia, 45, works full-time, manages her home, and is the go-to person for her extended family. Her mom calls her almost daily with requests. Her kids expect her to solve every problem. Her coworkers rely on her to take on extra tasks because “she’s just so reliable.”
“I used to think self-care was for people who didn’t have real responsibilities,” Claudia admitted. “But then I hit a wall. I was snapping at my kids, crying in my car, and feeling like no one cared about how tired I was. That’s when I realized I wasn’t even caring for myself. How could I expect anyone else to?”
Does this sound familiar?
For many women, the idea of self-care feels impossible. Maybe you’ve been taught that your value lies in how much you give. Maybe you’re afraid that if you let go—even a little—the whole house of cards will fall apart. Or maybe you just feel like there’s no space for you in your own life.
What Happens When You Put Yourself Last
Here’s the hard truth: constantly putting yourself last isn’t sustainable.
When you ignore your needs for too long, it starts to take a toll—on your body, your mind, and your relationships. You might feel:
Drained, like you’re running on fumes.
Resentful, even toward the people you love most.
Disconnected, from yourself and the things that used to bring you joy.
Exhausted, but unable to rest because your mind won’t stop racing.
These feelings aren’t a sign of failure—they’re a sign that you’ve been carrying too much for too long.
Why Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
Let’s flip the script. What if taking care of yourself wasn’t a luxury or an indulgence, but a necessity?
Here’s the truth: self-care isn’t about choosing yourself instead of others—it’s about choosing yourself so you can show up for others without losing yourself in the process.
Think about it this way:
When you’re well-rested, you’re more patient.
When you feel good, you’re more present.
When your needs are met, you have more to give.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down. It means you’re creating the foundation you need to show up fully.
What Self-Care Actually Looks Like
Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. It’s not about spa days (unless that’s your thing) or spending hours on yourself. It’s about making small, intentional choices that honor your needs.
Examples of Everyday Self-Care:
Saying no to the extra work project so you can get to bed on time.
Taking a walk and letting your mind wander.
Drinking your coffee while it’s still hot—without multitasking.
Journaling for five minutes to clear your head.
Calling a friend who makes you laugh.
The point isn’t how much time you spend—it’s about giving yourself permission to take up space in your own life.
Why Self-Care Can Feel Hard
If self-care feels foreign or even guilt-inducing, you’re not alone. Many women are raised with messages that make prioritizing themselves feel wrong. You might have grown up hearing:
“No seas egoísta.” (Don’t be selfish.)
“La familia viene primero.” (Family comes first.)
“Las mujeres fuertes no necesitan descansar.” (Strong women don’t need rest.)
These messages can be hard to unlearn. But here’s the thing: taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re rejecting your values. It means you’re embracing a healthier way to live them.
How Therapy Can Help You Reclaim Your Space
If you’ve been putting yourself last for years, therapy can help you figure out how to make space for yourself without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.
Here’s how therapy works:
It gives you a space to unpack the pressure you’re carrying. Why does prioritizing yourself feel so hard? Where did that belief come from?
It helps you reconnect with your needs. What do you want? What would make you feel whole? Therapy is a space to figure that out.
It gives you tools to create balance. Together, we’ll work on strategies to help you care for yourself while staying true to the people and values that matter most.
Take the First Step: Download my free guide, “How to Break Free from Burnout While Honoring Your Family and Yourself,” to start making small shifts today.
What Happens in a Free Consultation?
Not sure if therapy is right for you? That’s okay. A free 20-minute consultation is a no-pressure way to explore your options.
Here’s what happens:
We’ll talk about what feels hardest for you right now.
We’ll explore what you want your life to look like.
We’ll create a plan for how therapy can help.
If we’re a good fit, we’ll move forward together. And if not, I’ll help you find someone who is—because you deserve support that feels right.
You Deserve to Feel Whole
You’ve spent years taking care of everyone else. Now it’s your turn.
Download Your Free Guide: “How to Break Free from Burnout While Honoring Your Family and Yourself.”
Schedule Your Free Consultation: Let’s talk about how I can help you create a life where your needs matter too.
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