Why Busy Couples Need to Prioritize “Us Time”
- Joset Rosado
- Nov 17
- 4 min read
Do you ever feel like your relationship has taken a back seat to everything else in your life? Between work deadlines, school pickups, bills, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy for time with your partner to quietly slip to the bottom of the priorities.
Maybe you’ve told yourself: “We’ll make time for each other when things calm down.” But here’s the truth—life rarely slows down on its own. If you’re waiting for the perfect time to focus on your relationship, you may be waiting forever.
The good news? You don’t need extravagant plans or hours of free time to nurture your connection. Even small, intentional moments can shift the energy between you and your partner. Let’s explore why “us time” matters and how you can make it happen—no matter how busy life gets.
What Happens When “Us Time” Gets Overlooked
Most couples don’t decide one day to neglect their relationship. It happens gradually. The demands of work, parenting, and daily responsibilities pile up, and before long, quality time becomes a distant memory.
That was exactly how Marta and Diego, a Latinx couple married for 12 years, felt when they came to therapy.
“We love each other,” Marta said. “But it feels like we’re just coexisting.”“We’re so busy all the time,” Diego added. “By the end of the day, we’re too tired to do anything together.”
When “us time” disappears, relationships often start to feel disconnected. You may notice:
Conversations often revolve around logistics rather than genuine connection.
Small irritations can grow into bigger frustrations if you don't address them.
The partnership feels more like roommates or coworkers than a couple.
As Marta summed it up: “We weren’t arguing, but we weren’t really enjoying each other anymore either.”
Why “Us Time” Matters
Time together isn’t a luxury—it’s the lifeline of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Like exercise keeps your body strong, time with your partner keeps your bond resilient during life’s challenges.
Here’s why prioritizing it is worth the effort:
It strengthens emotional bonds. Regular time together reminds you of what you love about each other. It fosters intimacy, empathy, and connection.
It reduces stress. Sharing laughter or relaxation with your partner helps you recharge and face the outside world with more resilience.
It builds trust and safety. Consistently showing up for each other communicates: “You matter to me. We’re in this together.”
Marta and Diego discovered this firsthand. “Once we started making time for each other, everything else felt easier,” Marta reflected. “It was like we were a team again.”
How to Make “Us Time” Happen (Even When You’re Busy)
The idea of carving out a couple of times can feel impossible when schedules are packed. But “us time” doesn’t have to mean elaborate date nights or full weekends away. It’s about building small, intentional rituals that remind you both that the relationship matters.
1. Start Small
Meaningful connection doesn’t require hours. Five minutes of genuine attention can shift the tone of your relationship. Try:
Sitting together with coffee in the morning.
Talking for 10 minutes after the kids go to bed.
Sharing one highlight and one challenge from your day.
Diego began this habit with Marta after their therapist suggested it. “It wasn’t much,” he admitted, “but those 10 minutes at night made a big difference.”
2. Make It Non-Negotiable
Treat time with your partner the way you treat other commitments—by putting it on the calendar. Protect it, even when life feels hectic.
Marta and Diego began scheduling weekly date nights, sometimes at home with takeout or a movie. “Knowing we had that time set aside,” Marta said, “made me feel like our relationship mattered again.”
3. Get Creative With Everyday Moments
Connection doesn’t always require new time—it can grow inside the time you already spend together:
Cook dinner side by side instead of dividing tasks.
Turn errands into mini-dates with coffee on the go.
Walk together in the evening instead of scrolling separately.
For Marta and Diego, grocery shopping became a surprisingly fun ritual.
“We’d joke in the aisles and plan meals,” Diego said. “It turned something ordinary into something playful.”
4. Revisit What You Loved Doing Together
Think back to your early days: What lit you up as a couple? Was it exploring new restaurants, dancing in the living room, hiking trails, or playing games? Revisiting those activities can rekindle joy and remind you why you chose each other in the first place.
For Marta and Diego, it was hiking. “Getting back outside together reminded us of all the fun we used to have,” Marta shared.
What If One Partner Hesitates?
Sometimes one partner feels too tired, too busy, or simply too out of the habit to prioritize “us time.” If that’s the case, approach gently.
Instead of saying, “We never spend time together,” try: “I miss how close we used to feel. Can we find small ways to reconnect?”
Marta was initially hesitant. “I felt like we didn’t have the energy,” she admitted. “But once we started, I realized how much I’d missed it.”
How Therapy Can Help
If finding time together feels impossible—or if the time you do share feels strained—therapy can offer tools, structure, and accountability.
A therapist can help couples:
Identify what’s getting in the way of connection.
Develop realistic strategies for prioritizing each other.
Navigate underlying tensions that block closeness.
For Marta and Diego, therapy was a turning point. “We realized our relationship wasn’t something to squeeze in when we had time,” Marta said. “It’s the foundation for everything else.”
Your Relationship Deserves Time
Life will always be busy. There will always be another deadline, another errand, another obligation. But your relationship is worth carving space for—because when you prioritize each other, you create a partnership strong enough to weather any storm.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. A laugh over coffee, a short walk, or a few minutes holding hands at the end of the day can be enough to remind you of why you chose each other.
For Marta and Diego, those small shifts changed everything. “We’re still busy,” Diego said. “But now, we make time for what matters—and that’s each other.”
✨ Ready to bring “us time” back into your relationship?
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore how therapy can help you and your partner reconnect.
Comments